The Big Change

I mentioned previously that I have a lot of catching up to do, so here we go. Last year was a fantastic year, a year with a lot of changes. Not only was Preslee born, Elli potty trained, and Kailee a new Jr. Higher (I'm pretty sure that's not even a real word....), but spiritual changes came as well. As I was gearing up to return back to work from my 3 month maternity leave (Chevron graciously granted me permission to take off for 3 months instead of the standard 6 weeks-THANK YOU!), I was in the Word having a quiet time with the Lord and he spoke several things to me that I wasn't expecting. He first told me that I had this issue with money-it was an idol or a God that I had put before Him, the One True God. BAM! That was a slap in the face. He showed me exactly how I had allowed it to become a God and that I was allowing it to consume all of my time. The short version is that I was doing a LOT of online and magazine browsing (not any real shopping) for home decor and furniture. All of that exposure was causing a discontent heart and a poor attitude. None of this was a REAL shock to me, but was disappointing that I had allowed it to get to this point. The next thing He told me was the scary part-scary because it required actual faith. He specifically told me that I was to quit my job and serve my family and give our finances over to Him-to truly let Him provide. To many this probably seems like no big deal or like a dream-not really for me. Though I had had the desire in my heart to be home with my babies, I was giving up a lot of control and freedom and financial security (we're the ones who provide that, right?? wrong!), which I wasn't sure I was truly willing to sacrifice. Needless to say, after several discussions and some pushback from Joel and some wavering on my side, we made the decision to be obedient (yes, being obedient to the Lord's instructions/promptings IS a choice....remember Jonah? I didn't really wanna see what would happen if we chose not to be obedient this time!). So, we chose obedience over comfort and it has been a great joy. I'm still trying to figure this whole stay-at-home mom thing out and have real struggles when people ask where I'm employed (I'm discovering that I have a little bit of a pride issue too-imagine that). I wouldn't ask to do anything else though and am so grateful for the opportunity to get to truly watch and know my kiddos as they grow up. I feel blessed to be able to do so. Did I mention that God is growing me in the area of patience and sacrifice? :)